This post is close to my heart and so necessary in today’s society. Many people try to paint the perfect life through social media and act like they have no issues. I thought it was refreshing when Chrissy Teigen shared her struggle with post-partum depression and unmasked some of her insecurities. We need to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health.
I’ve written on the blog a few times about the pain of losing my mother shortly after becoming a newlywed. After I lost her, my dad had a major heart surgery. Once my dad recovered and I adjusted to those changes, my husband and I bought a house and my job picked up.
About a year after my mother passed away, my husband, my dad and I decided to go to GriefShare. It was a huge step in the right direction and I only wished I went earlier. I realized that how I felt was okay and my feelings and forgetfulness were normal. My dad didn’t talk at all the first couple classes, but he opened up over time. By the last session he couldn’t stop talking. Braylon attending Grief Share was a blessing because he didn’t know how to console me or to deal with my constant sadness. GriefShare was definitely a necessary step in healing and moving forward.
Over the years I’ve learned that many people will not understand how I feel unless they go through the same experience, and that’s fine. My mother’s loss took a toll on me, especially since I was so close to her and spent countless nights in the hospital fighting with her.
So what I’m trying to say is that it’s perfectly fine to get help. If you cannot handle your issues alone, I encourage you to reach out and advocate for yourself. Whether you need to pray, talk to a trusted friend or mentor, go to GriefShare, or meet with a counselor or Pastor, do what you need to get yourself on the right track. In today’s society, a stigma surrounds people getting help, but we need to switch the script. Getting help is actually the strong and mature thing to do. In a professional setting, there are usually no repercussions regarding GriefShare, grief counseling, spiritual counseling or marriage counseling.
From my mother-in-love who is a psychiatrist and counselor:
We have to be wise as Solomon tells us in Proverbs. We must use our resources. This includes as Krystal mentions above: friends, loved ones, and even counsel.
You must believe that just as ministers have a calling to feed God’s sheep, Doctors/ therapist/ counselors have a calling to serve, strengthen and heal. Seeking biblical, Christian or secular counseling is obeying God’s desire for us to listen and be educated by wise counsel so that we can be wiser in latter days (Proverbs 19:20).
As a called Psychiatrist I can assure you that when you are hurting, grieving, drifting off track and need healing, seek wise counsel, God has prepared them to help you mend what is broken. It is important that you assure that you and the counselor are with one accord and purpose which may require some shopping but if you click, it will be well worth the time and effort.
I hope you find this encouraging because the truth is that it’s okay to get help.
Much love,
Krystal Antonique
This is so very true, I had grief counseling after the loss of my husband who died suddenly and tragically and it helped tremendously along with my faith in God. I’ve recommended it to others but for reasons of their own chose not to follow through and I’ve watched their pain turn into bitterness, and ugliness. You are such a blessing to others, keep encouraging and inspiring. This was awesome reading and I loved the wisdom of your mother in law. I never quite looked at it in this way. You both are such a blessing! If only more people would take this advice. God bless you all!