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How to Respect Yourself in Relationships

09.05.2020 by KG_oul // Leave a Comment

Part 1 – There’s Levels to This

Part 1 – There’s Levels to This

Having low energy investment but high respect for a “low action” person is important. It is good to build trust with people through their actions. Begin to understand how to categorize the people in your life to create healthy boundaries. Shunning people is not the answer. Working through life with people while maintaining your boundaries through self love and respect is!

Part 2 – The Right Way To Guard Your Heart

Part 2 – The Right Way To Guard Your Heart

To clarify, being a Christian is NOT a pain but growth sometimes can be. Being saved by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is easy but facing the demons of this world and overcoming our own sin is impossible without Jesus Christ.

The more we get into the Word of God and experience the realness of God’s love in our life, we will learn how to see our enemies in God’s eyes with love.

I often feel sorry for my enemies and the future they will face. I no longer hope the worst comes their way because I know what it feels like to be humbled by God.

God convicting me after I sin is way better than Him humbling me after I’ve lived in a sin for so long that it birthed unforeseen strong holds in my life. When you are facing an enemy that does not know just how lost, evil, or far gone they are, trust me and best believe God has a plan for them. Just like God had a plan for you when you came to salvation and began to walk in His will.

Think of your lowest points where you’ve had a Job season of your life then think about Haman in the Bible book of Esther or Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel. Which character would you rather be? I know most of our answers are neither but if you HAD to choose…who would you choose?

I would choose Job. Your enemy could more than likely face the destiny of Nebuchadnezzar or Haman but it is your job to be who God has called you to be as God does His providential work.

You can be a modern day Job, Esther, or Daniel. Esther and Daniel were a lot stronger mentally and spiritually than their enemies because they wholeheartedly depended on God and His calling over their life. I’d even like to believe that Job was so strong that no enemy physically on earth could make him curse God so His enemy was Satan the deceiver himself. Job is a representation of the internal struggle that happens with Christians when God is about to level us up. In every season of our lives we must never forget our strength comes from God. Strength stands with God in integrity and respects others in all seasons of life.

Guarding your heart while dating is enjoying and valuing the people in front of you while maintaining healthy relational boundaries. Do not surround your mind with doubt, anxiety, sin, or judgment of others. Keep your mind, soul, and heart protected from unfaithful lies about dating and marriage. When you know and meditate on God’s truth, you can guard your heart without shutting others out. You can experience the joys of growing healthy friendships and relationships.

Part 3 – There’s More Levels to This

Part 3 – There’s More Levels to This

Understand what it means to be a friend first. Friends of the opposite sex can have fun and flirt with no strings attached. Enjoy life! Do not have strings attached until you’ve spent enough time with a person to learn who they really are and what their true intentions are. Their consistent actions will show their true intentions.

For my Black Queens!! I’m about to go all the way in and get real with you. We must recognize how America has trained us to put stereotypical and unrealistic expectations on our Black Kings before we even get to know them. Think about how easy it is for us to not have our guard up sometimes with men from other ethnic backgrounds.

Some Black Queen’s guards might be down, are more chill, and unbothered talking to men of a different race in social settings because we have no intent on dating them. Other Black Queens assume Black Kings should fulfill our unrealistic romantic expectations.

Black Kings and Queens have faced some hard things in America that we must address and recognize to avoid stereotypical assumptions of each other. We have been oversexualized in the media. Displayed as “loud”, angry, cheaters, criminals, or a culture easily influenced by the media. I challenge you to search your heart in these areas and check out my Understanding Black Men and Women Beyond The Surface YouTube playlist found here. Recognize your biases and how they are affecting your dating life, especially within the Black Community. For some women, the finer the man the more likely he’ll cheat. This is not true! Women can miss out on enjoying their time with good looking quality men because they are searching too hard for red flags.

When I compare what I’ve seen on TV to the men I’ve experienced in person, most of the Black Kings that I know are NOT cheaters. Far from it. I’ve heard of men of the opposite race swinging or cheating on work trips in places I’ve worked. I’m not saying all Black Men don’t cheat or all men of the opposing race do cheat. I’m just saying the dating game (especially marriage) is slightly different between those two types of men’s worlds (but only slightly). The difference in the game is worth learning. Learn the man, learn the game.

Sometimes a Black King is too busy securing the bag or focusing on his future to even think about cheating. The Black Kings I know are Men of God who know what it means to add to their Black Queen’s happiness. There are men of the opposite race who are financially set for life who have time to cheat more often than Black Men. I say all this to say, learn the game and ask God to reveal the facts.

We as Black Queens sometimes hold Black Kings to a higher standard from the jump without even realizing it. So I challenge Black Queens to enjoy a friendship with Black Men. Allow them to be themselves and reveal themselves. It’s so much better to see if someone desires to join into your life than to force or beg them to fit into your life. Let go and give them freedom so you both can allow the space to show your true selves to each other. This will allow you to discern sooner if you both meet each others intimate and “realistic” standards.

Part 4 – Guard Your Heart and Be Confident In Your Calling

Be bold and confident in who you are. In 2018 coworkers told me I needed to be more confident. I was confused because I know (and my family definitely knows) I am a confident person. Later I realized God was in the process of humbling me while I was going through a tough year. When others were assuming I had low confidence, God was

  1. Molding and transforming me;
  2. Teaching me the strength of what it means to be meek;
  3. Revealing to me being humble is so much better than being humbled.
  4. Making me realize confidence looks different to different people. I show confidence through my fruitful actions, humility, meekness, and Godfidence. I chose a more meek way to be confident because I did not want pride to sneak back in.

With that said, do not explain yourself to people who question the essence of who you are. Just show them who you are. If they pay attention long enough, they’ll know. If they walk away with their false assumptions of you, that’s their loss. Do not let moments of confusion distract you from your purpose. Focus on your spiritual growth and God’s calling on your life as it relates to resting in God, helping others, cultivating friendships, and starting new relationships.

~ Kassie Marqué

Categories // Marque, Relationships & Dating

How to Respect Yourself in Relationships (Introduction)

09.05.2020 by KG_oul // Leave a Comment

Hi all! My friends and family inspired me to create videos on relationships and self worth. I’ve attached my video introduction below about respecting yourself while maneuvering through relationships. Whether it be with friendships or dating. I’m not an expert but here are reasons why my family and friends support this:

  1. I attended an abstinence retreat for about eight years learning about the complexities of relationships and sex. (I’m probably more comfortable in the most uncomfortable conversations on the topic of sex.)
  2. I’ve read the Bible front to back and continue to be a student of God’s Word as my relationship with Him grows through Jesus Christ.
  3. I choose to remain abstinent until marriage.
  4. I’ve given my married friends advice which helped their relationships (now marriages). I’m no where near the reason for their success but have received their positive feedback. I KNOW marriage is hard so choose your partner wisely with God at the foundation of it.
  5. I’m confidently single and dating. (My main advice here is DO/BE the best YOU, respect yourself, respect others, take in wise council only, decipher through wise counseling by reading the Bible, and anyone’s negative worldly opinion is just noise for the birds.)
  6. I grew up with three brothers and adopted football players. My parents were givers in professions that allowed them to support others. So I learned a lot. I’m not an online social media person and the video was done the day I moved into my new home during these COVID-19 times so low quality but hopefully the words in these videos help someone. 💜

#RespectYourself #TheresLevelsToThis #Relationships #SelfLove #GrowYourGifts #MoreToCome #ConfidentlySingle #Proverbs31Woman #RuthWoman #BeYou #DoYou #LoveYourself #GodsChild

For the full video series on relationships and dating visit this YouTube link here and subscribe to the Kassie Marqué YouTube page.

Categories // Marque, Relationships & Dating

11 Facts About Marqué

08.02.2017 by KG_oul // 6 Comments

 

We both decided to make posts about ourselves so you can get to know us a little better. And I know all of these items may not fit perfectly in the ‘unique’ bucket, but…

1. I enjoy spiritual and intellectual conversations.

2. I am a Christian, optimistic, and full of joy!!…but it doesn’t mean I don’t know how real/harsh life is. To all who think Christians are “happy go lucky” and aren’t going through anything to get where they are, you got it all wrong. Those that believe Jesus Christ died & rose again (Christians) choosing to live in obedience to love are conquerors of battling demons/hardships everyday. Battling through life with God is what makes us strong conquerors, and look “un-phased” by life’s trials. I am strong, I am persistent, I am passionate, I ignore the haters (& pray for them), learn my lessons, and move on with Christ. I’ve witnessed God do miracles for me & have seen the things He’s orchestrated on my behalf. He doesn’t give me what I want but He gives me what I need. Being a Christian isn’t about getting what you want it’s about actively loving everyone, glorifying God while he gives you what you need and more than what you could have ever imagined for yourself. & making sure you are strong enough on this earth to reign over/appreciate/be in awe of what He’s given you so you & others may be drawn to Him. Lastly, He’s not drawing you to Him for his own needs, He’s drawing you to Him to Save you. He doesn’t have to but yet He chooses to.

3. I love Track & Field. I broke the state record in Triple Jump my senior year in high school but got 2nd because another girl jumped 1/4th of an inch farther. That day I was just blessed to have some good competition. However some of my supporters thought the other girl’s jump was measured wrong & her win was controversial. I didn’t care at the time. I guess you can say God gave me peace that surpassed understanding in that moment.

4. I miss being immersed in a church. I miss singing in a gospel choir like I did all my life and in college. I also miss consistent Bible Study. I Love talking about the Bible, Jesus Christ, and spiritual things. When I move to California I will make sure I find a church that’s right for me that I can get involved with on a consistent basis.

5. My hair has been natural all my life and I haven’t gotten my hair texturized in 7 years. If I didn’t have to put my hair in a bun everyday for work, I would wear a natural curly/wavy hair style. I’ve been looking for a good natural hair stylist so I can explore natural hair styles I can wear at work.

6. I enjoy mentoring and teaching any and everyone! Some people think I’m smart, however, to get “smart” I had to ask a lot of questions, make people teach me despite some being disdainful, and run into people willing to answer my questions. With this being said, it’s really unattractive to me when someone doesn’t answer an educational question & treats the person that asked the question like they are dumb. If you do that, you apparently forgot where you came from. Someone at some point taught you what you know (or answered your “dumb” questions). You should be humbled & grateful enough to answer & educate someone else. After all, they could be another Albert Einstein in their craft of work. 💜

7. God has blessed me with the gift of discernment and I rarely entertain those who have a spirit of confusion. I learned when I am confused about who a person is, their actions or the things they say whether it be in a relationship, the work place, or even with family members. Those actions/words are of the devil. It sounds so black & white but God is not a God of confusion. Instead of trying to figure a person out, I let it go, pray for them, give it to God, forgive them, move on, & allow God to guide/use me moving forward. Easier said than done. However, peace comes when you let go & let God with people that cause confusion. Also, praying away the spirit of manipulation and intimidation because sometimes those who confuse you will try to manipulate and intimidate you as well.

8. I may not show it well sometimes because of trying to protect myself but I LOVE everyone. Some would say too much. Even those that do me wrong I still have a place in my heart for them. However, I am definitely not a doormat lol i just am obedient to God when it comes to interacting with others. It took me years to realize that I can love (like philos/friendly/Christian love) a man but not really be in love with him, want to date him, or marry him. I confused a lot of people along the way (& one time myself) because I would show them love & they would think I was more into them than I was. I was really just loving them the way God wanted me to at the time. God places people in your life for you to plant a seed and be a vessel. Sometimes we have to realize that not every guy you click with (as more than friends) should be your boyfriend and not every friend you click with should be your best friend. When I marry a man I pray he will be able to read me correctly in this regard & pray I will be able to communicate it correctly to him whatever phase we are in in our relationship.

9. I really like computer system coding – especially VBA (Visual Basic for Application). I just finished an individual class project that had to do with coding and three of the course instructors said it was “Bad A$3!” Lol & said it’s the best they’ve seen in the course history & are now going to use it as an example of high standard for future classes. Pretty awesome & humbling at the same time 💜😊

10. In high school my basketball team won state two years in a row. In my two years of playing for the high school team we only lost approximately 4 games that I can remember (3 games my sophomore year & one my junior year). I love basketball and find myself coaching at the screen when watching a basketball game on TV. I miss the team camaraderie & the game.

11. I am a virgin and proud of it! Not that I haven’t been tempted. I just want to be one of those women that young women can look up to and know that it’s possible. Everyone has different reasons but I do it b/c of my love for God. Once I stopped caring about the materialistic reasons for doing it, God help me realize out of respect/health for myself and my love for Him it is totally worth doing it. I lean on the statement “never seen the righteous forsaken”. Knowing God will carry me through the trials of it & will bless me in the end with more than I can imagine when it comes to my husband.

Categories // Marque

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Welcome!

We're two women of faith living out the passions and goals that the Lord placed on our hearts while encouraging others

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