How bad do you want it?

This is the question we ask ourselves when we are on the road to achieving our goals. However, I realized today that this isn’t necessarily the best question we should be asking ourselves. Why? Because it unintentionally brings a feeling of impatience, greed, and the sense of “the end justifies the means” type of attitude. The question we should be asking is…

How do you want it when you get it?

I know this doesn’t make much sense yet but let me explain it a little better. The first question tests the passion you have for completing your goal. The second question tests how you will achieve your goal and confidently assumes that your goal will be achieved. For example we all know I want to be an Olympian. Every day I would subconsciously ask myself that first question. As a result I wanted success as soon as possible. I never broke the rules to get it (although some people do) but I over worked myself and neglected my health sometimes. Have you ever heard the quote “A hardworking healthy athlete is always better than an unhealthy talented athlete”? I thought being a healthy athlete meant no serious injuries or broken bones but I was only half right. A healthy athlete also means you are well rested, not mentally burnt out (by academics in my case), spiritually intact, and eating right. There are so many things that go into it and to develop into a better athlete you must better all of those things with time. Which brings me to the second question.

We’ll switch from the example of an athlete to someone wanting a potential husband. We all know why the first question would be a horrible question to ask yourself in relation to waiting on (preparing for) your future husband. To me it screams desperate but feel free to leave a comment below if you disagree with that outlook. I would like to know what you think. Now back to the second question. The “when you get it” like I said before assumes you will be getting a husband. So faith in that alone should sort of keep you from being anxious or desperate to find one. The “how do you want it” is what I want to focus on. It relates to the quote “you attract what you are”. I feel not much more needs to be said because it is self explanatory. If you want a good husband become the person you want him to be. It’s easy to get a boyfriend (especially if you’re driven by the first question) but it’s harder to meet the right person for you. So if you ever get impatient and are struggling between the questions “How bad do you want it?” versus “How do you want it when you get it?” (which you’ll find happens more often than not) revert to the second question as a means to rid you of thinking that you have to lower your standards for yourself and others in order to achieve your goals in life.

When trying to achieve a goal focus on the person you want to be when you achieve it. The goal does not define you you define it.

Lastly, although I used a husband as an example, a husband should not be a goal or an achievement. It should be seen as something that will happen in God’s will and timing. Your only action should be to “prepare yourself” for becoming a wife by striving to become the “you” God wants you to be.

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~Kassie Marque